Matchmaker
by Ancient Aardvark
Summary: Mokuba thinks his brother could use a soul mate. Fill in the gaps. Rated PG for VERY slight language and the ideas this might give young siblings.
1. Mokuba's Plan

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Wahoo. No lawsuits here. No siree. Nope, they won't be coming around. I'm safe now. What? You want me to start the fic? You're no fun. Fine.  
  
Matchmaker  
  
"Oh, Mokuba?" Seto Kaiba called into his younger brother's room. Mokuba jumped, slammed the top down on his laptop and turned to face his brother.  
  
"Uh, yeah, Seto?" he said, giving his best Bambi eyes.  
  
"What are you doing?" Mokuba squirmed a bit, then quickly looked back up.  
  
"Nothing! Nothing at all. Yeah," he exclaimed. His brother's ice blue eyes bored a hole through his skull (not literally, unfortunately).  
  
"Is that so?" Kaiba said coolly, then turned on his heel and marched off. Mokuba let out a huge sigh of relief and reopened his laptop.  
  
"Back to business," he muttered. On his screen was a rough draft of a flyer, covered with pink curlicues. It read:  
  
Date a Seto  
  
Only $42 a date! Limited supply! Hurry while it lasts! Free shipping and handling  
  
Mokuba smiled as he added a picture of his brother to the center. He hoped people wouldn't take the last part the wrong way. Whistling cheerfully, he clicked "Print" and hurried to the printer. After only a few seconds, the sheet was pushed out of a slot and taken quickly by the young boy. He grinned evilly. Finally, walking to the copier, he copied it as many times as there were sheets of paper in the copier (about 300, for those who care). Mokuba looked up with an evil glint in his eye.  
  
Wahoo! That's it for the first chappie! Should I continue? If not, I'll take it down. Reviews would be greatly appreciated! 


	2. Seto's Discovery

Okay, I got enough positive reviews so I'll continue.I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!  
  
Matchmaker Part II  
  
Mokuba whistled cheerily as he wandered around Domino, posting up his creations on every street corner. Seto would be furious, but he didn't give a patootie. He smiled, stapling up the final next to a poster for a lost aardvark and dusted his hands off. He clasped his hands in front of him, stood on tiptoes and fluttered his eyelashes outrageously.  
  
"Oh, Seto dear, you look simply furious! Whatever could be bothering you? Not the 382 young maidens on your doorsteps, right, Seto?" he said in a high pitched voice. Rubbing his hands together gleefully, he cackled evilly and ran off.  
  
Seto Kaiba awoke to a horrid sound outside his window. It was as if a thousand voices - feminine voices - were screeching at once, chanting something that sounded horribly like "I showed up first! I get the first date!" Groaning, he got out of bed, staggered to the window and peered out. A mob of girls were pounding on the mansion's doors, all holding wads of cash and screaming something about getting a date. Suddenly he heard his own name mentioned. Whirling around, he sprinted out of the room.  
  
"What the crap, Mokuba!" he yelled, searching for his younger brother. Mokuba emerged from his room, rubbing his eyes sleepily.  
  
"Yeah, oniisan?" he said tiredly.  
  
"What is the meaning of this?" the older Kaiba demanded, shaking his brother's shoulders. Mokuba suppressed an evil grin.  
  
"What?" he asked innocently.  
  
"The mob of females at the doors, thinking they can BUY a date with me?!" Kaiba shrieked, hysterical with fear.  
  
"Oh, that." Mokuba said thoughtfully. "Well, I don't know what gave them the idea, but it really would be a shame to turn them away, don't you think.?"  
  
"No, I don't! Whoever pulled this is going to get it big time." Seto growled. Mokuba shrank back, swallowing hard.  
  
"Ah, but oniisan, don't you think that's a bit violent? I mean, what if that person didn't mean it to make you mad?" he asked desperately. His brother wasn't listening.  
  
"I bet it was that Wheeler punk," he muttered.  
  
/Crap! Joey, I'm sorry,/ Mokuba thought. Kaiba reached for a nearby phone, punching its buttons like they were his tormentor's face. A voice answered on the other side.  
  
"Hello, Wheeler residence," Joey said.  
  
"MUTT! You have a lot of explaining to do!" Kaiba yelled into the phone. A faint 'ow' came from the other line.  
  
"Geez, Kaiba, no need to blow my eardrums. And what do you mean, explaining? I haven't blown anything up in four days!" Joey protested.  
  
"A likely story," Kaiba spat, hanging up. He turned to Mokuba.  
  
"Do me a favor. If you see anyone - anyone - who might be behind this, shoot them. Mokuba nodded and gulped nervously. Maybe it had been a bad idea.  
  
Wahoo! This chappie's done! If anyone has any ideas for what should happen, tell me. I'm lightheaded since I found my graphing calculator (after being told I'd have to pay for it: $85!) Eek. Okay then.  
  
Reviews are greatly appreciated! Oh, and if anyone can tell me how to get bold, italic, etc., that would also be nice. 


	3. Seto's Schedule

The inspiration of flaming rubber duckies did not hit so quickly as it does in the norm. I had to rebel against the ancient Aztec monkey spirit that was controlling me, thus accidentally destroying the lampshade that kept the world in balance. The world was plunged into flames of water for a while and THAT is why it took so long to get this chapter up.  
  
Matchmaker Part III  
  
Joey Wheeler placed the receiver down, confused. He had known Kaiba was a jerk, but this was just insane. He calls, screams, which he never does, then doesn't give a reason for doing it. Nothing made sense. Unless.Joey smirked. He had heard Mokuba stifle a laugh over the phone, which probably meant he had either known just who had done something evil to Kaiba, or done it himself. Innocence schminnocence. He knew Mokuba.  
  
Kaiba risked another peep out the window. The crowd was still there, rowdy as ever. He had no idea how the heck he was going to get work. For a moment he considered calling the police for crowd control, but they would probably think he was kidding, and even if they did take him seriously, they would want to know why the girls were there. Kaiba didn't have an answer for that. But boy, when he got his hands on the one who was behind it.they would pay.  
  
Someone else, somewhere else, was paying. In cash. Lots of it. Mokuba smiled brightly and took handful after handful of bills from the mob of girls, taking down names on a pad. He turned down the ones who weren't polite or looked bad. Hey, he figured if he was going to be picky he might as well throw some prejudice into it! Counting the money with lightning calculations, Mokuba discovered that he had made $6300 (150 customers, for those who care *cough*One of Evil*cough*). Looking down at the first page of the clipboard, he read it off.  
  
Friday  
  
1:00 Maria 2:00 Nashi 3:00 Felicia 4:00 Grezilka 5:00 Kravdraa 6:00 Natalie 7:00 Kylee 8:00 Minnie Mouse 9:00 Gina 10:00 Farah 11:00 Rainbow Sunshine  
  
Mokuba looked up happily.  
"You have a lot of business today, big brother!" he cackled.  
  
Wahoo! Next chapter to be coming soon, gimme suggestions. And if anyone can figure out the secret meaning hidden somewhere in there, more power to you. Yay! 


	4. First Date: The Terror Begins

Ha! I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! And the Ha! is for no particular reason.  
  
And by the way, Nashi: thanks for the review, and if you look back at last chapter you're on the list. Good luck. I'll try not to kill you off too harshly ^_^  
  
"Oh, Seto-san?" Mokuba said innocently. "It's 1:00. Do you know what that means?"  
  
"No. Do I want to?" Seto snapped back. He was glad the mob was gone, but it had happened so fast, and Mokuba had disappeared at the same time. Normally he would have just assumed his brothers had gotten rid of them, but he had been acting strange lately. Fishy. Very fishy.  
  
"You have a business meeting now," Mokuba told his brother. "At that nice Italian place."  
  
"Fine," Seto said. He headed for the door, pulling on his trench coat. It drooped to the ground instantly. Looking backwards at his dragging jacket, he sighed.  
  
"Looks like you have to renew the spell," Mokuba said. Seto raised his arms to the sky and chanted:  
  
"Oh Trench-coat God, I call to thee My trench coat's drooping, woe is me So here I stand, looking stupid as I shout Make my trench coat stick straight out!"  
  
Lightning flashed across the sky, striking Serenity as she petted her pink pony. With a sizzle, she was reduced to a pile of ash (Aardvark: YAY!) That sacrifice accepted, Seto's trench coat flipped up to its traditional 45° angle and he strode out the door purposefully.  
  
The limo waited outside, black paint shining in the afternoon sunshine. Then a pigeon flew over. Seto gave the pigeon a deathglare and it dropped dead. Unfortunately, the present it left was still there. Seto gave the present a deathglare. It stayed. He glared harder. It still stayed. A motion to one side caught Seto's attention and he turned, forgetting to stop his deathglare. Duke Devlin, who happened to be walking by, dropped dead (Aardvark: YAY AGAIN!). Seto returned to deathglaring the pigeon's present. After ten minutes, a servant walked out and managed to wipe it off without getting in the way of Seto's deathglare. That done, Seto got inside.  
  
The driver started the engine and drove across the street to the Italian restaurant. Picking up his briefcase, Seto stepped out and looked around. What company was the meeting with? He couldn't remember. Scowling, he stepped into the revolving door (you know those circle doors that move and you have to step in and walk at the right pace?) and followed it around. The instant he entered the building, a teenage girl who was about 4'8" with short blond hair ran up to him.  
  
"You're late!" she shrieked. Her voice could have curdled milk. Seto gave her a deathglare. It didn't do anything. Paling, Seto glanced backward at the door nervously. She noticed.  
  
"So you wanna leave, huh?" she cackled. "Then go ahead!" Pushing him backwards into the revolving door, she used all her strength to spin it. The spinning force pushed Seto into a corner of one of the four parts of the door, watching the world spin around much faster than should be possible. Finally it slowed a bit and he was hurled forward, coming to rest at his tormenter's feet. She looked down angrily.  
  
"You didn't bring me any flowers, did you?" she said, making it sound more like a statement than a question. Flowers? What kind of businesswoman asked for flowers?  
  
"Why would I bring you flowers?" he asked dizzily.  
  
"Generally one does thinks of the type on a date, Mr. I May Be A Computer Genius But I Have No Romantic Sense!" she snapped.  
  
"D.date?" Seto stammered.  
  
"Yes, date, you idiot!"  
  
"Crap."  
  
Seto sprinted into the door, rushing out and back into the limo. Someone was going to pay. 


	5. Second Date: A Possible Happy Ending?

Alright, Nashi, you're on! Here's your requested chapter. Everyone else, bear with me. Oh, and Nashi, pleeeeease don't kill me, okay? He likes you, there was just.problems. I can't have a happy ending so soon!  
  
And to APS and JEX, you can shut up. I'm doing this to make someone happy so bug off.  
  
I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!  
  
"Seto!" Mokuba said, running towards his brother, who was sitting on the couch. Looking grouchy. Very, very, grouchy. But that's not anything new. "How was your business meeting?"  
  
"The BUSINESS woman happened to be more interested in ME than in business. That or more interested in business of a different kind," Seto replied angrily.  
  
"Oh, deary me." Mokuba said. "Am I supposed to know what that means yet?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well I do."  
  
"Kid, you're homeschooled!"  
  
"Yeah, but you leave your Playboy magazines EVERYWHERE!" Mokuba whined. Seto paled.  
  
"Oops."  
  
"Well, anyway, you don't have anything at two. But I heard rumors of a kidnapping plan. Be on the lookout," Mokuba said.  
  
"Yeah, that's real likely, Mokuba," Seto retorted.  
  
"Sorry. My imagination just takes off sometimes."  
  
Seto stood, stretched, walked to his computer lab where he spent time doing fun things like hacking into the school database and changing the principal's drug test to positive. That done, he looked up at the clock, realized it was about five minutes to two o'clock. Leaning back in his chair, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath . . . and was immediately gagged and knocked out by a tall man who had snuck up on him.  
  
When Seto woke up, he was sitting at a booth in a corner of some sort of restaurant. The smell of pepperoni, cheese, tomatoes and baking bread floated around the room. Looking around, he noted that the place seemed completely empty. His head pounded painfully, and, remembering what had happened, including Mokuba's warning, he sighed.  
  
"I won't doubt you again, little brother," he mumbled.  
  
"What?" a voice came from the other side of the table. Seto looked up quickly. A girl with long silver hair and purple eyes sat across from him. She titled her head to one side and smiled slightly. "What did you say?" Seto opened his mouth to say something, but a waiter darted from the kitchen with a plate of steaming pizza.  
  
"A delicious dish for the contented couple!" he shouted enthusiastically. Seto's eyes opened wide with fear. He tried to stand up, but realized that he was chained to the seat.  
  
"Couple? Wait a minute, here!" he yelled. The girl looked hurt.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, standing. "I thought. . . never mind. I'll leave if you want me to." Seto's eye twitched. This one seemed different. Looking at the floor, he cleared his throat.  
  
"Uh, no, that's okay," he said nervously. She was sort of pretty, and she was being so much more polite than the others. He looked at the waiter, who placed the pizza on the table. Both he and the girl reached for the pizza at the same time, and their hands touched. Seto blushed furiously.  
  
"So, um, what's your name?" he asked. She smiled sweetly.  
  
"Nashi."  
  
"Oh," he mumbled.  
  
"So, what do want to talk about?" she asked. He looked up.  
  
"Dunno,"  
  
"Do you want to duel or something?"  
  
"Uh, sure," Seto stammered. He reached into his pocket, but it was empty. He swore, she looked shocked, and he apologized. The next few minutes were spent in awkward silence, both eating their pizza and not meeting eyes.  
  
"So, how's business?" Nashi finally asked.  
  
"Pretty good. I'm working on a new DuelDisk prototype," he said, at ease with the topic.  
  
"That's neat. Do you think I could see it?" she said. Her voice was small and sweet, like a tiny bell. Seto trembled nervously.  
  
"Okay, I guess that's a possibility," he said. He tried to stand again, but the chains were still there. He started to swear, then stopped. No need to offend innocent ears. Mokuba, who was watching from the security room through the security cameras, pushed a button and the chains retracted.  
  
"Things are going well enough," he muttered.  
  
Seto stood, Nashi stood, and they both exited. Seto left a generous tip on the table along with enough money to pay for the pizza. The sun seemed to smirk down on them. Mokuba ran to the door and watched his brother leave.  
  
Seto walked nervously, hands in pockets. Nashi walked calmly beside him. He looked up at the sky and spoke quietly.  
  
"Have you ever had this feeling, like anything can happen?" he asked.  
  
"I think I know what you mean," Nashi replied. "Like."  
  
"Getting hit by lightning on a clear day?" they both finished. They laughed together. Suddenly, out of the sky came. . . you guessed it, a bolt of lightning. It struck Nashi square on the head and she collapsed into Seto's arms, then smoldered into a pile of ash. Seto stared as it flowed through his hands, looking astonished and, strangely enough, disappointed.  
  
"But, but, but. . ." he said.  
  
"Ouch," Mokuba commented. "What was that?"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Seto cried. "THE ONLY GOOD ONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD AND SHE HAS TO GO AND DIE!"  
  
"I'm sorry," Mokuba said. His brother looked up with a murderous glare. Mokuba recoiled. "Not my fault!"  
  
"25 cents, Mokuba," Seto scolded. (For those who don't get that, I've said 'not my fault' so many times that my dad makes me pay 25 cents for every time I say it).  
  
"But big brother. . . " Mokuba said, making puppy eyes.  
  
"Never mind," Seto said. "I just wish. . ." he looked down at the smoking mess in his hands. He sighed. Things just went from bad to worse.  
  
OKAY! That's that chapter! Hehe, Nashi? *makes big, innocent eyes* Please don't kill me? I only killed off your character because I can't have a happy ending so soon, and it wouldn't really be all that funny. So ya. Review please!  
  
By the way, for those who haven't figured it out, I changed my username from Black Shadow Skyheart to Ancient Aardvark, which is what most people know me by anyway. 


End file.
